Notes on New Reality no. 1

When you allow yourself to flow fluidly, letting action spring forth from the core of you without reserve or holding back, something peculiar begins to happen. A way of life that you maybe could have imagined but never really could have known, because it’s a different layer of reality than you’re used to operating on. Words are redundant by their nature. The body, it moves fluidly through, and as, time and space.

Things occur, particles move and create phenomena, which feels so real and seems so significant. But then suddenly it shifts, moving pictures, and it morphs in and out of a zero space, where there is pure silence almost like negative space or a void that has the inverted atomic power to create matter.

So, then arise people and places, feelings and stories. When the identity is fluid, those stories don’t stick, and sensations are less likely to become stories. Identity is not fixed, so it’s difficult to stick a story to it, as that would imply a linear movement by a singular point. But that’s no longer how you’re experiencing life.

So, then I’m alone again (contradiction/paradox?) and the words pour out, that maybe I’ve been keeping in. Maybe? I don’t readily talk about this in everyday conversation as I think it would probably weird most people out.

So, then what? I don’t know. That is what I’m going to see. It’s not even a moving target, it’s like there is no target. The whole show is the target. And everything plays its role perfectly. Nothing obligatory, everything creative. And creating out of nothing. It’s a beautiful dance, fun and terrible, easy and life-or-death at every moment.

I’m just allowing the words to express themselves. I can feel infinite potential. I can see everything, yet nothing.

Just trying to express this new reality. It’s quite weird, no fixed identity, sensation phantasmagorically shape shifting into a million meanings. All by my own choice yet not by my own control. I control what I can, healthy control. And the rest is as it is.

Now I will edit the dreaming, final polish. Lots of sensation in heart.

maria allredComment